最重要的决定

我常在想 应该再也找不到
任何人 像你对我那么好
好到我的家人 也被照料
我的朋友 还为你撑腰
你还是有 一堆毛病改不掉
拗起来 气得仙女都跳脚
可是人生 完美的事太少
我们不能 什么都想要

你是我 最重要的决定
我愿意 每天在你身边苏醒
就连吵架也很过瘾 不会冷冰
因为真爱 没有输赢 只有亲密
你是我 最重要的决定
我愿意打破对未知的恐惧
就算流泪也能放晴将心比心
因为幸福没有捷径只有经营

幸福事小

吃完 镀了金的牛排 镶了钻的蛋 胃还是那么的孤单
只有 一想到了晚餐 有妳的笑下饭 漫长的一天才不难捱

穿着 限量版的衬衫 羡慕声不断 也没让我觉得温暖
如果 不是有妳呼吸 在皮肤上不散 怎么抵御世界的冷淡

幸福是一想到妳就心安
地要老天要荒的谁还想管
幸福是一起醒来说早安
海枯石烂这种大事 与我无关

听过 圣诗般的称赞 嘘寒或问暖 耳朵也开不出花瓣
直到 妳在电话那端 问我几点下班 动听得让心花灿烂

攀过 最纯白的雪山 最澎湃的海 回忆也没有更精彩
直到 妳侧脸的曲线 在我手心蜿蜒 才懂得什么事最浪漫

幸福是完成妳每一个期盼
登月或摘星留给谁去狂欢
幸福是陪着妳回味遗憾
伟大的圆满与我们 真的无关

Complete

He said: "I can't imagine being alone, look at some of our single friends around us, feels like they're so direction-less in their lives..."

I replied: "Well, their direction of their life is to search for the other half..."

He didn't say "I love you", or any romantic phrases seen in movies. But somehow I felt very touched. It was the first time that he naturally (without being asked by me) acknowledged that we're complete because of each other.

Leaving On A Jetplane

Garfield left on a jet plane... then tomorrow going out of cellular network reach on a chopper... sob...

小夫妻

在 super market逛了好大一圈
想你爱咖哩或是义大利面
幸福的食谱再恶补几遍
我的优点要你百尝不厌
在下班路上租了几支影片
有你在沙发就是浪漫剧院
辛苦的时候想著你的脸
没有蛮牛活力也会出现

喔~小夫妻 我的福气
这辈子可以让我爱上了你
这一路 有时晴 有时雨 都没有关系
我们的真心超过钻石对爱的定义

小夫妻 永不放弃
默契是最富有的一种储蓄
赌气话 你一句 我一句 也觉得甜蜜
多庆幸我们望著
同样明天 牵手在努力

你今天玉米浓汤有一点咸
你没送钻戒以后补我项鍊
我的通通是你的没有期限
存够钱我们逛地球一圈

我愿意 这一生 这一世 呵护著你
一直到 你当爷爷 你当奶奶
还是老夫老妻

Thank You

Thank you for travelling 10 hours just to spend the weekend with me.
Thank you for buying me breakfast at Lavender.
Thank you for shopping with me.
Thank you for helping me to assemble the shoe cabinet.

Thank you for being here with me.

The Time Traveller's Wife

It's a great movie! In one of the very rare occasions, I actually think that the movie is better than the book.

I was smiling all the way through the movie, touched by the love between Henry and Clare. Anyway I'm just so glad that my Garfield doesn't disappear time to time, just like that...

Planning for Marriage

Was reading this:
http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/31/business/4860871&sec=business

This is what I've been feeling - I think we're operating like a business partnership. Except the fact that our partnership is less complicated now - without all the household expenditures and children.

Looks like that's what marriage is about. (And I thought we're heading in the wrong direction - maybe our relationship has just "aged" pre-maturely.)
For all practical purpose - I think I'm married. Lol.

Penthouse and Sweet Escape

The butcher did not know.

He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.

She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.

----

"Marry me," he said.

Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.

"But there's no ring," she teased.

"There will be," he beamed.

"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"

He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".

----
----

Going into town was her sweet escape.

She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.

For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.

----

Their penthouse had never felt as empty.

The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.

Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.

He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.

"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"

She looked up at him.

"But neither of us were happy... were we?"

He laughed.

"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."

----

"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.

It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.

"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"


----

Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.

----

Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...

Dilemma vs Sweet Escape

I'm in a dilemma.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.

I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.

Rest of Your Life

Saw this in my Bible study notes (ironically, while I was looking for my "tough time" books for my friend who just broke up):

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
- Harry, "When Harry Met Sally"

Happy Birthday to Me...

Happy birthday to me... the Ugly Betty...

I can't say that I'm not happy today - at least the wonderful 3.5 hours of Redbox session with some witty funny coursemates really made my day...
But I can't help to recognize the fact - the entire day passed just as any other Saturday - sing K, shopping, dinner at Dragon-i... nothing more nothing less...

No surprise.
No roses.
No teddy bear.
Only "let me pay for that blouse..."
Only "where you wanna have dinner?"
Which are normal anyway.
Nothing was even planned. (I organized the Redbox session myself. OK he booked the room for us.)

I guess that's how an Ugly Betty celebrates her birthday.
Or maybe that's how an Independent Woman celebrates her birthday?
(I really need to stop crying. I still have one hour of birthday left.)

Breathe. Smile.

Update:
Feeling 100x happier now - after getting roses and chocolates =)
Thank you all for the wishes...

Love

Heard this line in Jolin's new song:

我们明白爱是互相依赖
Translation: we understand, love is to depend/rely on each other

Love

What is love? The "electricuting" feeling when you see a girl? Or the racing heartbeat when you see a guy?

We all know that these adrenaline rush will not last you forever - what's left between a man and woman when the excitement fades?

What do you do when you realize that the feeling has fade away? When you stop missing her when you're outstation? Do you give up? Or do you accept that the relationship is evolving but not ending?

As long as you're happy... my friend... as long as you're happy...

Note: It's my friend who's having a crisis - I'm just his faithful listener.

Bottleneck

I thought I know what I want, but when I'm really arriving at the juncture, I suddenly realized that I was not as decisive as I thought I would be.

I think I know what I want, but I don't wanna force him into something that he (or we) is not ready for.

This tug-of-war in my head is making me restless. I try my best not to think about it but I find it harder to sleep at night.

I need... we need... a breakthrough...

Valentine's Day Photoshoot @ Kid Chan Studio

This year, we decided to celebrate Valentine's day by joining another 27 couples at Kid Chan Studio for photoshoot =)

We paid...
RM 99.99 for the photoshoot session
RM 50 for make up
RM 35 for each piece of picture (we ordered 3 pcs)

What we got...
15 minutes of shooting (73 shots taken)
1 piece of B&W photo with frame
3 pcs of pictures =)

And here they are...






The power of 5D Mark II =)

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Thank you...

For all the good and (hardly) bad times...
For allowing all my once-in-a-month tantrums... (sometimes more than once...)
For all the gifts... (especially my lovely Bagman =D)
For all the good times we spent together travelling to different places...

Most importantly, for the future that we're going to build and cherish together...

Note: also thanks to le squid for her wishes...

Nightmare

I think I need to write this down... I don't think I want to forget this dream....
Because in this dream, Garfield decided to dump me for another girl whom he only met for a day!

o.O"

But I guess the most shocking part of the story is - the dream scared me awake, and I woke up with tears on my cheek...

Hmm. For the past 2 years I have been self -defensive (and to a certain extent - selfish) when it comes to relationship. Maybe I was too afraid to over-commit like I once did. Or maybe subconsciously I was just too cynical. I wonder whether he has noticed - but I hardly used the word "love"...

But the tears on my cheek made me realized - no matter how cynical I was, I am now deeply attached to this man. Call it love... bond... whatever it is.

So, this day... is the day that I declare myself "deeply and happily in love"...

Breakdown

Broke down last night, after fighting hard to all sorts of depressing matters in the past 2 weeks. I guess it's just part of an emotional cycle. We accumulate our depressions and unhappiness, wait until we reach our storage limit then we burst. Though I'm still in the recovery stage now, I must say that at least now, the scale of my breakdowns is much more manageable compared to the past. And I'm very grateful to have a super efficient "emotion" waste management system by my side =)

Many people may not understand what I see in him; to a lot of people, he's just another boy next door with no special ability. But to me, he has the very ability of making me a better person; at least now, I'm able to look at more things on the positive side, forgive others more easily (you have no idea how some bastards have attacked me recently), be more appreciative to things that are given to me, and in conclusion, I'm more happy with my life than I have ever been in my life.

But of course "more happy" doesnt mean that life is perfect. I still face numerous problems and doubts. But no matter how tough the road ahead is, we still need to move on...

Anyway, still a bit down now... later will "peras ugut" someone for something to cheer me up... maybe dessert will do... that's some kinda privilege that I hardly got to enjoy before this =P

Happy Birthday Garfield!!

Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to garfield....
happy birthday to you =)

It's finally Garfield's birthday, and as I have promised, I have managed to gather a few of dearest friends to celebrate with him, we brought him to Chili's for lunch, and after that we watched Pirates of the Carribean 3. (what a typical KL-way to spend our weekend.. haha)

It was indeed a special gathering... among the 5 of us...
1 birthday boy who'll start working 2moro
another 2 guys have just started work last week
and another 2 person (including me) are celebrating our surprised 4 flat =P


Lunch @ Chili's 1U

Garfield always "dreamed" about Chili's food ever since he 1st tried it almost a year ago during Lio's bday at KLCC. But the main reason why I suggested to celebrate at Chili's is becoz...

The waiters there will gather and sing bday song for the bday boy... haha =) (they also gave us a free walnut brownie sundae which costs RM 9.95)

We ordered a starter (triple play) and one main course for each person...

Monterey chicken

Lamb Shoulder (their mashed potato is really really heavenly...)

Cajun Chicken sandwich

Garfield happily putting on more weight =P