Monday, August 10, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Penthouse and Sweet Escape
The butcher did not know.
He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.
She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.
----
"Marry me," he said.
Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.
"But there's no ring," she teased.
"There will be," he beamed.
"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"
He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".
----
----
Going into town was her sweet escape.
She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.
For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.
----
Their penthouse had never felt as empty.
The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.
Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.
He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.
"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"
She looked up at him.
"But neither of us were happy... were we?"
He laughed.
"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."
----
"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.
It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.
"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"
----
Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.
----
Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...
He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.
She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.
----
"Marry me," he said.
Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.
"But there's no ring," she teased.
"There will be," he beamed.
"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"
He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".
----
----
Going into town was her sweet escape.
She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.
For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.
----
Their penthouse had never felt as empty.
The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.
Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.
He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.
"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"
She looked up at him.
"But neither of us were happy... were we?"
He laughed.
"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."
----
"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.
It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.
"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"
----
Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.
----
Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Dilemma vs Sweet Escape
I'm in a dilemma.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.
I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.
I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Rest of Your Life
Saw this in my Bible study notes (ironically, while I was looking for my "tough time" books for my friend who just broke up):
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
- Harry, "When Harry Met Sally"
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
- Harry, "When Harry Met Sally"
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy birthday to me... the Ugly Betty...
I can't say that I'm not happy today - at least the wonderful 3.5 hours of Redbox session with some witty funny coursemates really made my day...
But I can't help to recognize the fact - the entire day passed just as any other Saturday - sing K, shopping, dinner at Dragon-i... nothing more nothing less...
No surprise.
No roses.
No teddy bear.
Only "let me pay for that blouse..."
Only "where you wanna have dinner?"
Which are normal anyway.
Nothing was even planned. (I organized the Redbox session myself. OK he booked the room for us.)
I guess that's how an Ugly Betty celebrates her birthday.
Or maybe that's how an Independent Woman celebrates her birthday?
(I really need to stop crying. I still have one hour of birthday left.)
Breathe. Smile.
Update:
Feeling 100x happier now - after getting roses and chocolates =)
Thank you all for the wishes...
I can't say that I'm not happy today - at least the wonderful 3.5 hours of Redbox session with some witty funny coursemates really made my day...
But I can't help to recognize the fact - the entire day passed just as any other Saturday - sing K, shopping, dinner at Dragon-i... nothing more nothing less...
No surprise.
No roses.
No teddy bear.
Only "let me pay for that blouse..."
Only "where you wanna have dinner?"
Which are normal anyway.
Nothing was even planned. (I organized the Redbox session myself. OK he booked the room for us.)
I guess that's how an Ugly Betty celebrates her birthday.
Or maybe that's how an Independent Woman celebrates her birthday?
(I really need to stop crying. I still have one hour of birthday left.)
Breathe. Smile.
Update:
Feeling 100x happier now - after getting roses and chocolates =)
Thank you all for the wishes...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Love
Heard this line in Jolin's new song:
我们明白爱是互相依赖
Translation: we understand, love is to depend/rely on each other
我们明白爱是互相依赖
Translation: we understand, love is to depend/rely on each other
Time - Interview with Robert Kiyosaki
Was reading this while waiting for my laptop to start up:
Some of the highlights/keywords:
* DISCIPLINE, determination, drive
* That's how you get wiser - by hanging out with smart people
* I don't know how you can expect to get anything you want without some degree of long-term commitment
* All I talk about is money... but my decision to live in a safer community or have better good - it's all based upon money
* Flipping is gambling
The word "discipline" appeared 4 times in the one page interview.
This article hit me because yesterday morning, I just had a conversation with a senior who's getting higher pay than me, but his savings till now is less than the amount that I've invested in stocks and property in the 1st half of this year. I was very shocked to find out that he hardly saved. He told me he just prefers to enjoy life. I told him, yeah, sometimes I do get lost, wondering why people around me who gets paid less than me are driving bigger car, while I'm thinking that mcD is too expensive.
DISCIPLINE - I'm determined that delayed yet greater gratification is the way to go.
Some of the highlights/keywords:
* DISCIPLINE, determination, drive
* That's how you get wiser - by hanging out with smart people
* I don't know how you can expect to get anything you want without some degree of long-term commitment
* All I talk about is money... but my decision to live in a safer community or have better good - it's all based upon money
* Flipping is gambling
The word "discipline" appeared 4 times in the one page interview.
This article hit me because yesterday morning, I just had a conversation with a senior who's getting higher pay than me, but his savings till now is less than the amount that I've invested in stocks and property in the 1st half of this year. I was very shocked to find out that he hardly saved. He told me he just prefers to enjoy life. I told him, yeah, sometimes I do get lost, wondering why people around me who gets paid less than me are driving bigger car, while I'm thinking that mcD is too expensive.
DISCIPLINE - I'm determined that delayed yet greater gratification is the way to go.
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