Monday, April 30, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Empty house, empty room
My house is empty. Everyone's gone. My room is almost empty too. Feel so empty and lonely.
Feel really depressed. This room contains so much memories, but most of them must be disposed asap now. So i'm not gonna take photo of this room. Don't wanna remember.
I realized that most of my "true" friends who stayed with me through thick and thin, are mostly friends that I made during my 1st 2 yrs in UTM (and of course 95 % not my coursemates). The feeling came so strong when I had lunch with WT; i had barely talked to him in the past 3 yrs, but tat day, from the moment that we sat down in Atap house, we talked non-stop for the next 2.5 hrs. I didnt feel any distance between us, though we havent spoke for a long time.
I used to feel proud of my coursemates, thought I will be able to end the curse; seniors all told me that true friends come from activities, not among coursemates. I thought I could break this norm. But ended up getting burnt in the process of trying. WT is right. Coursemates are too nearby to you. And when coursemates gather, they dont have much constructive issues to discuss about, except of football, DOTA and gossips. (these 3 topics are seldom included in my conversations with my activity friends). He never fancied the idea of living among coursemates. But i told him my biggest mistake was to let/"force" my bf to know and live among my coursemates. (next time gonna keep my bf 1km away from my colleagues... muahaha)
But of course I still managed to find a few worthy friends among coursemates. I'm still grateful.
Feel really depressed. This room contains so much memories, but most of them must be disposed asap now. So i'm not gonna take photo of this room. Don't wanna remember.
I realized that most of my "true" friends who stayed with me through thick and thin, are mostly friends that I made during my 1st 2 yrs in UTM (and of course 95 % not my coursemates). The feeling came so strong when I had lunch with WT; i had barely talked to him in the past 3 yrs, but tat day, from the moment that we sat down in Atap house, we talked non-stop for the next 2.5 hrs. I didnt feel any distance between us, though we havent spoke for a long time.
I used to feel proud of my coursemates, thought I will be able to end the curse; seniors all told me that true friends come from activities, not among coursemates. I thought I could break this norm. But ended up getting burnt in the process of trying. WT is right. Coursemates are too nearby to you. And when coursemates gather, they dont have much constructive issues to discuss about, except of football, DOTA and gossips. (these 3 topics are seldom included in my conversations with my activity friends). He never fancied the idea of living among coursemates. But i told him my biggest mistake was to let/"force" my bf to know and live among my coursemates. (next time gonna keep my bf 1km away from my colleagues... muahaha)
But of course I still managed to find a few worthy friends among coursemates. I'm still grateful.
Welcome
Hi. Welcome to my blog. Initially I decided to put up a letter for CHS's fan club members; and at the same time I would also start to promote this blog publicly. But I decided not to put up that post. I've showed that post to a few friends and they've given me their feedback.
I guess they're right. It's been too long. Making explanations now would be too late to alter other's perception on the issue. It would not make much of a difference. And by revealing all these information, I will only create more reasons for people to gossip more.
I spent a whole morning writing that post. Cried all the way while I was writing. Can't help but cry when I slowly recount all the past that I had with him. But what has happened has happened. I'll just have to slowly clear off all these memories, and fill the void with details of my new life.
So for now. I'll still keep this blog as a private blog, reserve this little space of mine so that I can express myself and share my thoughts with my close friends as well as passer-bys.
I guess they're right. It's been too long. Making explanations now would be too late to alter other's perception on the issue. It would not make much of a difference. And by revealing all these information, I will only create more reasons for people to gossip more.
I spent a whole morning writing that post. Cried all the way while I was writing. Can't help but cry when I slowly recount all the past that I had with him. But what has happened has happened. I'll just have to slowly clear off all these memories, and fill the void with details of my new life.
So for now. I'll still keep this blog as a private blog, reserve this little space of mine so that I can express myself and share my thoughts with my close friends as well as passer-bys.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Grand Opening - "Point of No Return"
The grand opening for my new blog - Point of No Return
Date: 28 April 2007
The grand opening is supposed to be celebrated with the release of a very important blog post.
But now I still cant make up my mind whether to post it or not.
Some say that I should clarify and fight back, some say that I shouldnt, and some say that it wont make much of a difference.
I've been wanting to write and post that blog for the whole semester. I've waited for so long. But perhaps now everything is meaningless. It's already too late. People have already judged me using whatever information that they received 1st. But at least the process of writing that blog made me feel much better.
Date: 28 April 2007
The grand opening is supposed to be celebrated with the release of a very important blog post.
But now I still cant make up my mind whether to post it or not.
Some say that I should clarify and fight back, some say that I shouldnt, and some say that it wont make much of a difference.
I've been wanting to write and post that blog for the whole semester. I've waited for so long. But perhaps now everything is meaningless. It's already too late. People have already judged me using whatever information that they received 1st. But at least the process of writing that blog made me feel much better.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Law of Attraction - End of "Selfishness"
Ok ok. Happened to see "the Secret" - the book in MPH. God must be reminding me that the Law of Attraction is working. So gotta stop talking about selfishness, before i attract such "things" near me. Haha. Anyway I think I've expressed myself. These thought have been in my mind for quite long. (cant help, things keep happening). So now that I've penned them down, can discard them from my head already.
Now busy with packing up. I really have too much of belongings. Up till now, I already packed 5 Double A boxes, 3 big cartons, and 4 bags. Pretty much huh. And I'm still packing... Don know where to stuff all these things when I get home.
Btw, PAP interview is over, yay!! Now i'm really free from any student's obligation... muahaha...
Now busy with packing up. I really have too much of belongings. Up till now, I already packed 5 Double A boxes, 3 big cartons, and 4 bags. Pretty much huh. And I'm still packing... Don know where to stuff all these things when I get home.
Btw, PAP interview is over, yay!! Now i'm really free from any student's obligation... muahaha...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Selfishness Part III
Seems to be an interesting to talk about. Actually such issue has been around for quite some time. Like I said in the earlier post, in a time of changes (we're graduating), people tend to protect themselves. For example, a friend of mine seemed to be telling others that he doesnt know what to do after graduation; but long time ago, he secretly told me that he already has a good opportunity awaiting him. Now. some people may think that it's indecent to lie. But I find myself quite comfortable with his small white lie and I'll describe to you, why sometimes such white lie is necessary to maintain "world peace" for the now and here.
Ok. There have been several incidents which has really made me ponder whether being truthful and sharing with others is really beneficia to mel.
Case 1:
We started with kind hearts, sharing news with friends around us about our job hunting process, including the companies details and interview experiences. Everything was ok until someone started to bad mouth at our back, saying that we are job application machines; that we should settle with the offer that we already get, stop hunting for other opportunities as this may jeopardize others' (maybe that loser himself) chance of getting a job.
Haha. Fine.
I don't see how I would jeopoardize your chance if you yourself are good enough.
I believe in the theory of abundance.
And I just don't see why I cant continue my search for a better deal.
Case 2:
So we learnt. Seeing that by being generous only makes others feel annoyed; and of course their reaction also annoyed us. So we learnt not to reveal things to them until we're certain of where we're going to work. Anyway we've got a real good deal, when a kind friend has generously shared his information with us. But he asked us not to reveal it to too many people. Ok. That's understandable. His generosity for us does not necessarily apply to others.
Everything went on ok. Until this kind friend got another better offer and he decided to hop. So he figured that its harmless to share the old news with others. And so he did. And guess wat? Now people think that we are the ones who are selfish and unwilling to share. o.O"
So now.... share or not share?
Case 3: (this is where the starter story applies)
This is about another "we". So, we got offered a job by a good company. We figure that its a good thing and we encouraged others to apply. But turns out that some of your "friends" around you, instead of feeling happy for you, they actually feel bad about it. Maybe they think that you've taken away his opportunity, or maybe they think they're better than you.... (millions of reasons/excuses on the list). They start to show you cold faces, talking to you sarcastically....
Now. Sometimes we'll get caught in such dilemma of share or not share. I seriously don't mind sharing, as long as those audiences of mine don't respond to me with jealousy/coldness (nobody likes that). But of course, we cant control how others think and talk about us. I had a hard time thinking, trying to strike a balance in my mind in dealing with such situation.
So my conclusions are: (which I constantly remind myself to keep to)
I'll share with those whom I believe would appreciate my effort rather than being jealous.
I wont lie/hide when i'm being asked; at the same time, I wont automatically offer those details unless being asked.
Though sometimes i really feel like going evil. (you know, nowadays everybody seems to think that I'm a nice target to agitate/bully). But i'm still trying my best to remain sane. For those who are graduating, good luck and all the best in your job hunting. Just hope that my stories would enlighten you of how "realistic" the world is.
For world peace.
Ok. There have been several incidents which has really made me ponder whether being truthful and sharing with others is really beneficia to mel.
Case 1:
We started with kind hearts, sharing news with friends around us about our job hunting process, including the companies details and interview experiences. Everything was ok until someone started to bad mouth at our back, saying that we are job application machines; that we should settle with the offer that we already get, stop hunting for other opportunities as this may jeopardize others' (maybe that loser himself) chance of getting a job.
Haha. Fine.
I don't see how I would jeopoardize your chance if you yourself are good enough.
I believe in the theory of abundance.
And I just don't see why I cant continue my search for a better deal.
Case 2:
So we learnt. Seeing that by being generous only makes others feel annoyed; and of course their reaction also annoyed us. So we learnt not to reveal things to them until we're certain of where we're going to work. Anyway we've got a real good deal, when a kind friend has generously shared his information with us. But he asked us not to reveal it to too many people. Ok. That's understandable. His generosity for us does not necessarily apply to others.
Everything went on ok. Until this kind friend got another better offer and he decided to hop. So he figured that its harmless to share the old news with others. And so he did. And guess wat? Now people think that we are the ones who are selfish and unwilling to share. o.O"
So now.... share or not share?
Case 3: (this is where the starter story applies)
This is about another "we". So, we got offered a job by a good company. We figure that its a good thing and we encouraged others to apply. But turns out that some of your "friends" around you, instead of feeling happy for you, they actually feel bad about it. Maybe they think that you've taken away his opportunity, or maybe they think they're better than you.... (millions of reasons/excuses on the list). They start to show you cold faces, talking to you sarcastically....
Now. Sometimes we'll get caught in such dilemma of share or not share. I seriously don't mind sharing, as long as those audiences of mine don't respond to me with jealousy/coldness (nobody likes that). But of course, we cant control how others think and talk about us. I had a hard time thinking, trying to strike a balance in my mind in dealing with such situation.
So my conclusions are: (which I constantly remind myself to keep to)
I'll share with those whom I believe would appreciate my effort rather than being jealous.
I wont lie/hide when i'm being asked; at the same time, I wont automatically offer those details unless being asked.
Though sometimes i really feel like going evil. (you know, nowadays everybody seems to think that I'm a nice target to agitate/bully). But i'm still trying my best to remain sane. For those who are graduating, good luck and all the best in your job hunting. Just hope that my stories would enlighten you of how "realistic" the world is.
For world peace.
Brain Storm - New vs Old Management Style
Hmm. Seems like my previous 3 posts have been quite negative. Time to get rid of it and inject some positivity into my life and blog.
Very very happy that a close friend of mine has just got a job offer from Shell. Congrats my dear =) So glad that we'll be working in the same company, and one day we can go to Tango class together =)
Oh ya. Everyone please check out the new online TV service at www.worldip.tv . I tried out this morning, and its so nice to be able to watch 东方卫视 for free =) and i was quite lucky. At that time, they were airing a talk show called "Brain Storm", and the topic for the session is about the management style of the "after 80s" (meaning those born in 80s, that's us). Debate was participated by 3 parties: the "after 80s" bosses/CEOs, the "before 80s" bosses/CEOs (uncles), and the "after 80s" workers.
Point of views voiced out by these 3 parties:
1. "after 80s" bosses
Boss A:
Never do bad things. (which an "uncle" boss commented as kindergarden teacher teaching kids)
Keep things simple.
Creativity.
Boss B:
Round table evaluation/communication.
Uncle asked whether she adopted this strategy from somewhere.
she said that she's trying to build up/establish continuity from her HQ culture. (文化传承)
Then uncle shoot her: you only stayed in HQ for one month and you're spreading their "culture"? So you'll be able to spread Japanese culture after living there for one month?
Young lady boss got speechless.
Boss C:
Open communication. By this he meant that he allows his staffs to send him anonymous e-mails to complain/criticize him or anything.
One of the worker representative asked him: would this affect your influence/credibility as the boss?
He replied: no. i'm the one paying them salary. that's the basis of influence.
Uncle commented: good. you got the right kinda "boss" attitude.
Boss D:
There are 4 stages of industrial management.
1st stage: passion. refering to starting up a new business, when you have minimal number of workers, everyone needs to be very fired up. (uncle commented that the fire cant burn for long, while another uncle said that the main point is to keep the fire steady and long).
2nd stage: control (管)
3rd stage: manage (理)
4th stage: self-manageable, meaning that the team is mature enough to move by its own. (无管理, 靠团队)
2. "after 80s" workers
These are some of the observations/feedbacks provided by these young workers regarding their experience of working under young bosses.
Their (here means the young bosses) minds are very active. Today got an idea. Tomorrow got another new idea. everyday change. makes it real hard for the staffs to keep up.
They are impulsive (冲动), but it comes along with confidence.
3. "Before 80s" bosses:
These young bosses ought to be more careful with their promises, especially when they're promising to their staffs. They tend to over-promise, and end up unable to deliver.
The things that they said are not solid enough (for example, their answers when an audience asked them about their business's direction for the next 5 years) . They like to say empty statements such as "I want our company to be the biggest ............. in China" in dont know how many more years to come, with no specific direction/planning or measurable targets.
-End of recap-
The show was only an hour. Very compacted one, full of debates and cross-bombing. This is all the points that i can remember (I watched this prog 12 hours ago). I find them quite interesting, and definitely worth my time to write them down. Hope you guys find it interesting too.
Very very happy that a close friend of mine has just got a job offer from Shell. Congrats my dear =) So glad that we'll be working in the same company, and one day we can go to Tango class together =)
Oh ya. Everyone please check out the new online TV service at www.worldip.tv . I tried out this morning, and its so nice to be able to watch 东方卫视 for free =) and i was quite lucky. At that time, they were airing a talk show called "Brain Storm", and the topic for the session is about the management style of the "after 80s" (meaning those born in 80s, that's us). Debate was participated by 3 parties: the "after 80s" bosses/CEOs, the "before 80s" bosses/CEOs (uncles), and the "after 80s" workers.
Point of views voiced out by these 3 parties:
1. "after 80s" bosses
Boss A:
Never do bad things. (which an "uncle" boss commented as kindergarden teacher teaching kids)
Keep things simple.
Creativity.
Boss B:
Round table evaluation/communication.
Uncle asked whether she adopted this strategy from somewhere.
she said that she's trying to build up/establish continuity from her HQ culture. (文化传承)
Then uncle shoot her: you only stayed in HQ for one month and you're spreading their "culture"? So you'll be able to spread Japanese culture after living there for one month?
Young lady boss got speechless.
Boss C:
Open communication. By this he meant that he allows his staffs to send him anonymous e-mails to complain/criticize him or anything.
One of the worker representative asked him: would this affect your influence/credibility as the boss?
He replied: no. i'm the one paying them salary. that's the basis of influence.
Uncle commented: good. you got the right kinda "boss" attitude.
Boss D:
There are 4 stages of industrial management.
1st stage: passion. refering to starting up a new business, when you have minimal number of workers, everyone needs to be very fired up. (uncle commented that the fire cant burn for long, while another uncle said that the main point is to keep the fire steady and long).
2nd stage: control (管)
3rd stage: manage (理)
4th stage: self-manageable, meaning that the team is mature enough to move by its own. (无管理, 靠团队)
2. "after 80s" workers
These are some of the observations/feedbacks provided by these young workers regarding their experience of working under young bosses.
Their (here means the young bosses) minds are very active. Today got an idea. Tomorrow got another new idea. everyday change. makes it real hard for the staffs to keep up.
They are impulsive (冲动), but it comes along with confidence.
3. "Before 80s" bosses:
These young bosses ought to be more careful with their promises, especially when they're promising to their staffs. They tend to over-promise, and end up unable to deliver.
The things that they said are not solid enough (for example, their answers when an audience asked them about their business's direction for the next 5 years) . They like to say empty statements such as "I want our company to be the biggest ............. in China" in dont know how many more years to come, with no specific direction/planning or measurable targets.
-End of recap-
The show was only an hour. Very compacted one, full of debates and cross-bombing. This is all the points that i can remember (I watched this prog 12 hours ago). I find them quite interesting, and definitely worth my time to write them down. Hope you guys find it interesting too.
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