这是写给你看的.
你知道吗?我非常心痛,看着你这样子被伤害.
这一切总会雨过天晴,但是没有人会知道需要多少时间...
听话.
要吃得饱,睡得好.
这是复原的第一步.
还有.
相信我.
你是一个好男人.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Planning for Marriage
Was reading this:
http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/31/business/4860871&sec=business
This is what I've been feeling - I think we're operating like a business partnership. Except the fact that our partnership is less complicated now - without all the household expenditures and children.
Looks like that's what marriage is about. (And I thought we're heading in the wrong direction - maybe our relationship has just "aged" pre-maturely.)
For all practical purpose - I think I'm married. Lol.
http://biz.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/31/business/4860871&sec=business
This is what I've been feeling - I think we're operating like a business partnership. Except the fact that our partnership is less complicated now - without all the household expenditures and children.
Looks like that's what marriage is about. (And I thought we're heading in the wrong direction - maybe our relationship has just "aged" pre-maturely.)
For all practical purpose - I think I'm married. Lol.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I Feel...
Emo swing kicks in again - I am reminded by a dream of someone, whom I really wish to befriend again. Come November, it'll be 3 years. What wound could run so deep, that even 3 years worth of time can't heal? (I really wish to talk to him again. Just as simple as asking - how are you doing?)
Anyway. I guess I'm just frustrated with my current state.
In a way, I know that I'm lucky cause many good things are coming/came my way. Even the not so good news coming from the Budget, we are lucky that things aren't hitting us too badly.
But I think I'm really overloaded with work. I am actually feeling guilty for not working on weekends. I don't think I can handle 2 jobs with only 24 hours (plus my side career - you know what I mean).
My strength comes from the diamond ring, and the man who's 380km away from me, who gave me the ring. And the light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway. I guess I'm just frustrated with my current state.
In a way, I know that I'm lucky cause many good things are coming/came my way. Even the not so good news coming from the Budget, we are lucky that things aren't hitting us too badly.
But I think I'm really overloaded with work. I am actually feeling guilty for not working on weekends. I don't think I can handle 2 jobs with only 24 hours (plus my side career - you know what I mean).
My strength comes from the diamond ring, and the man who's 380km away from me, who gave me the ring. And the light at the end of the tunnel.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sickening
3rd flu in 2 months time - am really sick of getting sick.
The antibiotic is making me dizzy. Feel like walking in the cloud.
The noise coming from the neighbour's renovation work behind my room is driving me crazy. So is the hazy air and scorching hot weather.
Just wish to be healthy.
To be able to work late in the office.
Wanna go shopping (clothes, furniture, car).
Wanna go play badminton (tomorrow is the final match of the season!).
Guess the air outside of the ostrich hole is too hazardous.
Time to go back into my cosy hole?
And hopefully no more flu.
The antibiotic is making me dizzy. Feel like walking in the cloud.
The noise coming from the neighbour's renovation work behind my room is driving me crazy. So is the hazy air and scorching hot weather.
Just wish to be healthy.
To be able to work late in the office.
Wanna go shopping (clothes, furniture, car).
Wanna go play badminton (tomorrow is the final match of the season!).
Guess the air outside of the ostrich hole is too hazardous.
Time to go back into my cosy hole?
And hopefully no more flu.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Penthouse and Sweet Escape
The butcher did not know.
He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.
She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.
----
"Marry me," he said.
Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.
"But there's no ring," she teased.
"There will be," he beamed.
"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"
He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".
----
----
Going into town was her sweet escape.
She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.
For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.
----
Their penthouse had never felt as empty.
The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.
Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.
He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.
"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"
She looked up at him.
"But neither of us were happy... were we?"
He laughed.
"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."
----
"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.
It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.
"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"
----
Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.
----
Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...
He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.
She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.
----
"Marry me," he said.
Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.
"But there's no ring," she teased.
"There will be," he beamed.
"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"
He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".
----
----
Going into town was her sweet escape.
She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.
For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.
----
Their penthouse had never felt as empty.
The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.
Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.
He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.
"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"
She looked up at him.
"But neither of us were happy... were we?"
He laughed.
"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."
----
"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.
It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.
"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"
----
Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.
----
Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Dilemma vs Sweet Escape
I'm in a dilemma.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.
I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.
I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
