Friday, December 25, 2009





Sunday, November 1, 2009

Planning for Marriage

Was reading this:

This is what I've been feeling - I think we're operating like a business partnership. Except the fact that our partnership is less complicated now - without all the household expenditures and children.

Looks like that's what marriage is about. (And I thought we're heading in the wrong direction - maybe our relationship has just "aged" pre-maturely.)
For all practical purpose - I think I'm married. Lol.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Feel...

Emo swing kicks in again - I am reminded by a dream of someone, whom I really wish to befriend again. Come November, it'll be 3 years. What wound could run so deep, that even 3 years worth of time can't heal? (I really wish to talk to him again. Just as simple as asking - how are you doing?)

Anyway. I guess I'm just frustrated with my current state.
In a way, I know that I'm lucky cause many good things are coming/came my way. Even the not so good news coming from the Budget, we are lucky that things aren't hitting us too badly.
But I think I'm really overloaded with work. I am actually feeling guilty for not working on weekends. I don't think I can handle 2 jobs with only 24 hours (plus my side career - you know what I mean).

My strength comes from the diamond ring, and the man who's 380km away from me, who gave me the ring. And the light at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


3rd flu in 2 months time - am really sick of getting sick.
The antibiotic is making me dizzy. Feel like walking in the cloud.
The noise coming from the neighbour's renovation work behind my room is driving me crazy. So is the hazy air and scorching hot weather.

Just wish to be healthy.
To be able to work late in the office.
Wanna go shopping (clothes, furniture, car).
Wanna go play badminton (tomorrow is the final match of the season!).

Guess the air outside of the ostrich hole is too hazardous.
Time to go back into my cosy hole?
And hopefully no more flu.

Monday, August 10, 2009

3rd Baby =)

Any suggestion for name? He's so adorable =P

Baby Dog

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Penthouse and Sweet Escape

The butcher did not know.

He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.

She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.


"Marry me," he said.

Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.

"But there's no ring," she teased.

"There will be," he beamed.

"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"

He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".


Going into town was her sweet escape.

She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.

For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.


Their penthouse had never felt as empty.

The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.

Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.

He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.

"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"

She looked up at him.

"But neither of us were happy... were we?"

He laughed.

"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."


"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.

It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.

"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"


Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.


Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dilemma vs Sweet Escape

I'm in a dilemma.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.

I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Rest of Your Life

Saw this in my Bible study notes (ironically, while I was looking for my "tough time" books for my friend who just broke up):

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
- Harry, "When Harry Met Sally"

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me...

Happy birthday to me... the Ugly Betty...

I can't say that I'm not happy today - at least the wonderful 3.5 hours of Redbox session with some witty funny coursemates really made my day...
But I can't help to recognize the fact - the entire day passed just as any other Saturday - sing K, shopping, dinner at Dragon-i... nothing more nothing less...

No surprise.
No roses.
No teddy bear.
Only "let me pay for that blouse..."
Only "where you wanna have dinner?"
Which are normal anyway.
Nothing was even planned. (I organized the Redbox session myself. OK he booked the room for us.)

I guess that's how an Ugly Betty celebrates her birthday.
Or maybe that's how an Independent Woman celebrates her birthday?
(I really need to stop crying. I still have one hour of birthday left.)

Breathe. Smile.

Feeling 100x happier now - after getting roses and chocolates =)
Thank you all for the wishes...


Thursday, July 9, 2009


Heard this line in Jolin's new song:

Translation: we understand, love is to depend/rely on each other

Time - Interview with Robert Kiyosaki

Was reading this while waiting for my laptop to start up:

Some of the highlights/keywords:
* DISCIPLINE, determination, drive
* That's how you get wiser - by hanging out with smart people
* I don't know how you can expect to get anything you want without some degree of long-term commitment
* All I talk about is money... but my decision to live in a safer community or have better good - it's all based upon money
* Flipping is gambling

The word "discipline" appeared 4 times in the one page interview.

This article hit me because yesterday morning, I just had a conversation with a senior who's getting higher pay than me, but his savings till now is less than the amount that I've invested in stocks and property in the 1st half of this year. I was very shocked to find out that he hardly saved. He told me he just prefers to enjoy life. I told him, yeah, sometimes I do get lost, wondering why people around me who gets paid less than me are driving bigger car, while I'm thinking that mcD is too expensive.

DISCIPLINE - I'm determined that delayed yet greater gratification is the way to go.

Monday, July 6, 2009





Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Weee... =)

I'm so happy! I thought I had no chance, but I got it! *bliss*

P/S: we bought our 1st home!

Thursday, May 28, 2009


When you open up your camera bag, you find your lens detached from your camera body, both of them sitting "naked" (without the covers) in the bag...

Imagine no further - cause that's what happened to me this morning!!!
I almost cried (again) when I saw this. They have been sitting there naked for 3 days.

I didn't dare to check. Immediately I attached the lens to the body, then I took deep breaths. (Was afraid that I would pass out)

I can only blame myself - for assuming others would have the "general knowledge" of how to put a camera in its bag.

Diving deeper into negativity...

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Reason

This post is dedicated to the Stitch.

I was kinda quiet throughout the evening, not really because I don't have much to tell you. But I was distracted - thinking about what have I really achieved?

I guess it's a "depressing" thought when the best reason that we could come up for our job is money. I didn't want to accept that (though I myself is in a deep job-depression now).

To me, the main "driver" for me would be all the wonderful things that we could do with the money that we earned from our job, like...
buying Stitch dinner
buying my family dinner
sponsoring children
buying our new home
and knowing that we have money in our accounts when we need it for emergency

Maybe one of the reasons that I've allowed myself to dwell so deep in job-depression, is because I have forgotten to remind myself of all these REASONS...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lamps and Flowers

Some night shots taken in Boston @ Solaris, Mont Kiara during our coursemate gathering on 16 May 2009.

Lonesome Beauty

Flower by Mirror

Lamps @ Boston

Lamps @ Boston

Man and Woman @ Boston

Monday, May 18, 2009


Been "quiet" here.
Been extremely busy - work, "part time" wedding planner, few dosage of "socializing" needs (which basically means different types/groups of gathering)

Still trying my best to fight off the negativity which came from the fact that my lead engineer is dependent on me o.O"

Today I really lost my head, and told him directly that
"There are things that graduate engineers are paid to do, such as reviewing drawings or attending courses or attending meetings to learn. Certainly reviewing HSE performance standards or design verification matrix should be lead's work."

Did that improve the situation? No. Cause the gap is still there (mainly knowledge on the project).

I'm losing the energy to even complain.

All I can do is - be quiet, do the work, and more work, and more work.
(20th is coming really soon.)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Unstable 2

Unstable-ness has returned.
Been quarrelling with him very frequently.

Conclusion: very grateful that I have him =)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Kota Kinabalu Trip 22-26 April 2009

Still very exhausted from the trip.
Will write more about the trip over the weekend.

Group Photo
Group Photo

Kundasang War Memorial

Flowers 1

Flowers 2
Taken at the KK Park while waiting for our group registration to be completed (filling in 33 names + details ain't easy!)

Golden Line
Take nothing but photographs, leaving nothing but footprints.
This is the "tag line" for KK park - you'll see this everywhere, even at Laban Rata.

Mt Kinabalu
Taken at Rose Cabin on the morning before we started the hike.

Mesilau Route

Mesilau Route

Gunting Lagadan

Laban Rata

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Emotionally unstable.

Go away.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Q: How do you know when someone blocks you in Facebook?
A: When you see your friends responding to his comment while you don't see any of his comments showing up.

Q: What kinda jerk would block people in Facebook?
A: I have no idea...

Q: Why?
A: Perhaps he couldn't stand to share the "airtime" with you, even if it's just commenting on friend's status in Facebook. He just couldn't stand to see your name and picture (perhaps the display picture is too happy).

After more than 2 years, what is the problem with him? Perhaps somebody should teach him what is "forgive and forget".

(You know whom I'm talking about.)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Mount K

It's a shame to admit - but I'm actually getting more and more nervous. 8 days to the hike. I almost fainted after 3.5 rounds of Batu Caves last weekend. I slipped and fell flat on the floor during shower on Sunday - and now my right arm aches. I have rashes on my legs cause I'm allergic to the Salonpas plaster. I'm no where near to "fit" and my confidence was flushed away in the toilet bowl.

This "vacation" is making me tensed, and tired.

Can I even make it to Laban Rata?

*What kinda vacation is this...*

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


What is love? The "electricuting" feeling when you see a girl? Or the racing heartbeat when you see a guy?

We all know that these adrenaline rush will not last you forever - what's left between a man and woman when the excitement fades?

What do you do when you realize that the feeling has fade away? When you stop missing her when you're outstation? Do you give up? Or do you accept that the relationship is evolving but not ending?

As long as you're happy... my friend... as long as you're happy...

Note: It's my friend who's having a crisis - I'm just his faithful listener.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


I thought I know what I want, but when I'm really arriving at the juncture, I suddenly realized that I was not as decisive as I thought I would be.

I think I know what I want, but I don't wanna force him into something that he (or we) is not ready for.

This tug-of-war in my head is making me restless. I try my best not to think about it but I find it harder to sleep at night.

I need... we need... a breakthrough...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

DCIM 2009 @ Midvalley - 28 March 2009

DCIM stands for Digital Camera.Imaging.Media.
It was a photography expo, while right next door to it there was a bridal fair.
Actually in conjunction with the expo, there was also a "Velocity Angel" search (some model competition) - which means... lots of Lengluis to shoot =P
But too bad all my shots turned out to be blur, cause I basically took the shots by holding my camera up high and just kept pressing the shutter non-stop (skill-less shots).

But luckily a few of the bridal gown shots can be salvaged...
Same "skill-less" shooting mode was used, it was by luck that I managed to get these...

Bridal Gown Model

Bridal Gown Model 2

Trying Out My New 50mm f1.8

Bought this new lens right before the official price hike of Canon products =P
So took some trial shots at home...


Wood Carving

Muar - 7-9 March 2009

Some pictures taken at Jwee's jogging place along the Muar River.
The river itself was not a very interesting shooting object - but with some people doing their routing activities such as fishing, I was lucky to get at least a few interesting shots.

Muar River Mouth

Muar River

P/S: perhaps by now you would have realized that I went to Putrajaya, Melaka and Muar within a weekend =P That's why I took me to so long to process the pictures.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Melaka - 8th March 2009

Went to Melaka with Jwee's siblings - it was half an hour drive from Muar.

To me, Melaka = historical town. That is why most of the pictures are post-processed with traces of "nostalgia".

Trishaws in Melaka

Passage of Time

Canon Point


Flowers 2

Melaka River

Some cute stuff that I found in the food court =)
(I did not edit these pictures - they are original shots taken from a food court wall!)


And the Shin Chan Potato =)
Shin Chan Potato

Paya Indah Wetland - 7th March 2009

It was a photography outing cum picnic with Chia and Andy's family.
The park was very quiet, in fact most of the infrastructures are not fully operational.
Nevertheless we had a chance to get up-close and personal with...

Hyppo 1

...Water Duck...
Water Duck 2

Swan Lake

And last but not least... our Model of the Day...
Model Lizzard

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lead Engineer vs Graduate

You know what's the difference between these two?

1. Lead engineer is supposed to LEAD, not to approach the Grad with puzzled face asking for directions on how to review drawings or respond to site team queries.
2. Lead engineer has the right to delegate - but delegation does not mean that you wash your hands off the issues. And it certainly does not mean that you can sit back and wait for things to happen on its own.
3. Lead engineer is supposed to make the Grad's life easy, while the Grad will do her best to make you look good (that was the working mode, until the recent change). If the lead try to make himself look good without 1st making the Grad's life easy, beware of disasters - ain't no free lunch in this world, aye.
4. Lastly, of course, the paycheck.

(I guess by now you know what kind of lead engineer I have.)
(Also you should understand the reason for my recent craving for food + weight gain which then leads to the need for more gym sessions.)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Came back from JB trip.
Very tired.
Spilled coffee, dropped a pack of milk onto floor.
Didn't do much whole day, except of trying to listen to stories.

Tired. Flying is tiring.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Valentine's Day Photoshoot @ Kid Chan Studio

This year, we decided to celebrate Valentine's day by joining another 27 couples at Kid Chan Studio for photoshoot =)

We paid...
RM 99.99 for the photoshoot session
RM 50 for make up
RM 35 for each piece of picture (we ordered 3 pcs)

What we got...
15 minutes of shooting (73 shots taken)
1 piece of B&W photo with frame
3 pcs of pictures =)

And here they are...
Valentine's Photoshoot 3

Valentine's Photoshoot 2

Valentine's Photoshoot 1

The power of 5D Mark II =)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

好久没写/打华文了,之前一直搞不懂这架电脑的中文输入方式,今天总算弄清楚了 =)


Monday, March 2, 2009

Desa Putra, Wangsa Maju

Some pictures taken at Desa Putra, Wangsa Maju
IMG_2659 (Edited)

Swimming Pool
IMG_2662 (Edited)



Vista Komanwel

Some pictures taken at Vista Komanwel Block C

View of Bukit Jalil Park

Golf Course View


Lost in the "View" (Vista)

Swimming Pool

Blue Monday

Today... no good ah...

2 banks forcing me to visit them physically in order to get things done.
Issuing the 3rd cheque for my colleague just to pay RM 130 for his stay in company bungalow. (The part that I hate the most is, I have to go to the bank physically to cancel the cheque that he lost.)
My "brilliant" agent sent me auction property info via fax while I'm out of office. (Not sure what my boss/colleagues would think when they see those stuff.)
Cough starting to develop.
Wasted one whole morning in a meaningless meeting.

Perhaps the only good thing is - my senior took over most of my extra "work" that my lead engineer decided to make me do. Very thankful for that, even though I know my learning curve will slow down, but I assure you, having more than 3 packages/items that I am completely new to is destined to be disaster.

Friday, February 27, 2009


I need to relax... take a deep breathe... relax...
Too tensed...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Hao Lun's Birthday Party

Some shots taken using 50mm F1.8 =)
Still learning how to use it...

Hao Lun

Hao Lun

Some pictures taken during Hao Lun's birthday party...

Flight to Freedom

Birthday Presents

Hao Lun and AhMah

Lost Balance