Wednesday, August 12, 2009


3rd flu in 2 months time - am really sick of getting sick.
The antibiotic is making me dizzy. Feel like walking in the cloud.
The noise coming from the neighbour's renovation work behind my room is driving me crazy. So is the hazy air and scorching hot weather.

Just wish to be healthy.
To be able to work late in the office.
Wanna go shopping (clothes, furniture, car).
Wanna go play badminton (tomorrow is the final match of the season!).

Guess the air outside of the ostrich hole is too hazardous.
Time to go back into my cosy hole?
And hopefully no more flu.

Monday, August 10, 2009

3rd Baby =)

Any suggestion for name? He's so adorable =P

Baby Dog

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Penthouse and Sweet Escape

The butcher did not know.

He did not know the reason behind her distant gaze. All he knew was how much he loved to see her smile, although it always seemed to appear between a lingering sense of sadness.

She walked into his shop, once in every two weeks, always on a Thursday, at about 10am. Some days she was late, but her order was always the same - a cut of sirloin, for one.


"Marry me," he said.

Her answer could not have been anything else, and she knew the very first day she met him. It was the happiest day of her life.

"But there's no ring," she teased.

"There will be," he beamed.

"Will it be Cartier? Oh.. oh.. can I have my dream wedding - champagne, thousands of red roses, a Vera Wang gown...... then.. you know.. someday.. we'll move into a penthouse... right in the middle of the city.....!"

He held her in his arms, gently kissed her on her forehead and whispered, "Marry me and I will give you everything - everything, anything, just to see you smile".


Going into town was her sweet escape.

She'd change into the old 'rags' she used to wear, put on a scarf and sunglasses, take the public bus 2 hours out of the city.

For one day, at least, she could be herself again and not pretend.


Their penthouse had never felt as empty.

The children were away at their grandmother's, as they were every Thursday.

Her head was buried in her hands, she had finished talking and had nothing left but tears.

He was silent. His frequent business travels had worn him out, he was not quite the charming young man he used to be.

"Such irony.... I was trying so hard to make you happy, you were pretending just to do the same......"

She looked up at him.

"But neither of us were happy... were we?"

He laughed.

"It was the steaks wasn't it... You know... it was too delicious to be true.."


"Ma'am, he left something for you," the lawyer's secretary passed her an envelope.

It was the deed to a small cottage house in town.

"I loved you so much, I didn't know how to show it. I'm sorry. I hope he makes you happy because I couldn't"


Not fortelling anyone's life.. (although the story was spun off it!) just a fragmented mishmash of here and there, inclusive of my very jaded feelings.. hmm.


Above article is taken from a friend's blog.
This serves as a reminder to me - am I pretending to be happy to the point that I successfully fooled myself?
Still searching for the answer...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dilemma vs Sweet Escape

I'm in a dilemma.
I'm vulnerable and hurt but he doesn't know - not that I never told him, but he just doesn't see and feel it.

I found a sweet escape. Moments of pure happiness (and good laughters), when the reality and pain are hundreds of miles from my mind.
But I wonder how far and how long should I indulge in this escape from reality?
But I just can't stand to think about the reality.
Figuring a way out reminds me too much of the pain and disappointment.