Bad. Worse. Worst.

I feel bad. I know many people would be in worse situations than I am. But the worst is yet to come.


Seriously feeling some pressure from work. I see a desperate need for me to absorb as much as I can, as fast as I can, if not I'll continue to be "no-help" to my boss. Knowing me, I never enjoy sitting in any position without contributing enough. By saying "enough" here, I mean to my standard of sufficiency, not somebody else's.


But I guess what's driving my nerves the most wasnt my job, but a few people. One of the most important thing that you need to learn when you step into the "real" world is - how FAKE and REALISTIC some bastards can be. These people will choose to extend their so-called friendship only to those that they feel will somehow bring them some benefit. (yeah I have already experienced that one year ago. and you know exactly that I'm talking about you.) They will be all nice and friendly and polite to those rich and/or influencial people. Meanwhile for the less rich and influencial person like me, they will not bother to pay you respect; they'll just reply your questions with "none of your business", "forgot" to include you in their mailing list, "forgot" to invite you when they go for lunch or movie, "forgot" to notice your existence. (to those who thinks that they're still a kind person, time to stop and think whether you're doing all these to someone.)


The second best part about these people is - they always think that they outsmart everybody else. They'll only pay you respect (notice you existence) when you nod to every single word that they say. When you start to pipe up with your own views which they don't agree, they will never ever stop and reconsider whether what they think is wrong, but immediately they'll think that you're simply dumb for not listening to the "smart" ones. (yeah, cant believe it, but I'm part of the dumb group.) Well, it did annoy me in the starting. But now come to think of it, I should just "accept" their ignorance and let them pay the price later.

22 Dec 2008:
Conclusion - one type of rice feeds hundreds type of people. All we can do is to increase the level of acceptance, over and over again...